Please don't make me eat the GREEN THINGS!!

Okay, so I have heard about these new-fangled blog thingies and I decided to try my hand. (Yep, we are slow to accept new technolgy. My kids are going to be super-excited when we buy them Atari for their birthdays. We don't have a DVR, have never used ebay, and have the world's oldest microwave - - which we plan to bring to Antique Roadshow when it comes to town.)

I figure this... my life has to be worth something to someone or my whole existence may truly be futile.

So... a quick intro. My husband is a Scientist from The Netherlands and we have two daughters. Normally people would say we have two beautiful daughters. But I figure in the interest of full disclosure, if we are going to use adjectives to describe our girls, perhaps beautiful would not be the most fitting. They are very pretty. But there are better ways to describe them. I think for the youngest we could use "stubborn, trying, mischevious, adventuresome," et al. For our oldest the list would change on a daily basis. The adjective du jour would be "whiney." Other words that come to mind are "inquisitive, defiant, sparkly-lipped, girly, smart, talkative," and so forth.

My morning began at 7 AM when our oldest wandered into our room, and while shaking the bed, asked loudly - - How do my LIPS look? We are a bit obsessed with lipgloss at the moment. Blue sparkly Hello Kitty lipgloss to be exact. (Which I have on my white carpets now. How does that even happen?)

Currently, as I pursue the title of Mother-of-the-Year 2009, I am in here blogging while my girls are eating lunch according to my own food pyramid. Today it is Ellio's pizza. Just a quick question... have any of you ever tried to "pick the green things" off of a slice of Ellio's pizza?

Green things are the bane of my existence. I probably spend 1o minutes per meal picking out green things. I start with good intentions but inevitably wind up screaming "they are just green flecks of nothing with no taste... they are NOT EVEN FOOD." Which brings me to my next question... Why the F%@# dos Ellio's pizza even have green things? This is not a vegetable? It serves no nutritional purpose. Come on peeps... let's band together now and exert some pressure on the powers that be at Ellio's pizza to get rid of the green things!

For those of you have have made it this far... I commend you. I would like to say that my thoughts are usually a bit more gathered, but that would be a blatant lie. This is me at my finest. I am a disjointed, scattered, hypochondriac with a talent for nagging and obsessing. (Two VERY valuable skills that are just not given enough recognition.)

For now I bid you adieu. Tune in tomorrow for more about how I met my husband and how our lives have been not so status quo.